2011 is over. This past year certainly has been a whirl wind for me and full of many trials and blessings. It started out with an unexpected surprise that we would have another child to love and watch grow. Then with the pregnancy came health issues like anemia, back pain, and a new allergy to adhesives. We also had a scare with the ultra sound that something may have been wrong with baby. This year also brought reconciliation between myself and two family members that I love dearly. I thank God for that. Along with the blessings came times of sadness. I think about our friend Pete that took his own life. What a sweet and funny person he was and loved by so many. I also think of my sister and her husband and the loss of their baby girl Alayna. She is buried next to our own little guy. I hurt for her and know the pain she is experiencing. It's a pain that only those who have experienced the death of a child would understand. It's a pain that cuts deep and never really completely heals.
Then along with the hurt came the joy of bringing Kodah Jack into this world, but also knowing that this would be a difficult thing for my sister to endure. I am sure it made her arms feel just that more empty seeing our baby and wishing hers was here to hold. Nothing I could say would be a comfort. All I can hope is that she knows how much God and the people around her love her.
The end of 2011 brought yet another very difficult and personal trial that I am going through. It's one of those valleys in life that for a moment really tested my faith. I found myself questioning God...WHY would he allow me to go through this, doesn't he KNOW I've been through enough trials in my life??? For a fleeting moment I actually considered throwing the towel in...but then I got into God's word and he comforted me and encouraged me in a way only he can. I read in 1 Corinthians 13.
1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
For 2012 I have decided to memorize these verses and keep them hid in my heart for the valleys that may come in life. God never promised he wouldn't send the trials, but he does promise to get us through them if we seek his face. It's a promise I am clinging to.
My hope for anyone that took the time to read this post is that you too will seek His face in all things in 2012 and if you have never trusted in Christ, that you will come to a point where you realize your need for Him. He died for our sins, took our punishment of hell. It is our faith in this truth alone that will set us free from our sin. May you believe this truth, claim it for your own and allow Jesus to transform you.
God bless you in 2012!!